Cyclo cross training and pints

With a view to racing 'cross this autumn I am laying off the ale and cranking out the turbo. Sort of. 'Cross is talked about as 'accessible' and 'friendly' and I am sure it is. The first time I raced was the Thursday League at Eastway (although I didn't know I had entered a league at the time). Come along they said, join in, it'll be fine, if you get dropped just sit a lap out. They never said if you race this you'll be wheezing so hard you'll be lucky not to cough up a kidney. I joined in and I was a DNF (there is nothing at all wrong with a DNF by the way; only a halfwit drags his sorry ass to the finishing line a half-hour behind the winner, far more dignified to slink back to race HQ and set about the cake and blame a mechanical). I was off the back lap 1, dropped lap 2 and eating cake after my vision came back lap 3. And so began a dreadful performance in local races that will no doubt continue this season. Training regime to follow.